my new life

like Dr. Gabor Mate says, "90 percent of people in the healing profession are trying to fix , in other people, that which they have not yet resolved in themselves. Many of them have not validated themselves, and are creating problems, and doing harm, to those who need help". "They have trauma that they haven't worked out for themselves, and will be working from a defensive position, rather than creating a safe haven which would facilitate the free exchange of healthy, and realistic, thoughts and ideas." Sounds exactly like Carrie, trying to pass herself off as a counsellor, to spouses of narcissists. That's like a heroin junkie becoming an addictions counselor, and simply repeating what their counselor tells them, while still living their own addiction. How fucked up is that? In fact, she is the least qualified to counsel anyone about anything! Her brother says if you look up "neurotic" in the dictionary, there is a picture of Carrie, and her ...

“We can see the truthfulness of an individual’s belief system by observing their behaviour. A belief system which is logically consistent with observable reality is very stable and requires little effort or discipline to maintain.  By contrast, a deluded belief system, i.e. a lie, requires great effort and discipline to maintain. We have to be able to block out contrary evidence, think around internal inconsistencies and cling to a learned framework of thoughts, i.e. a dogma, which is not supported by what we observe around us.”

Hey Denise. It's been awhile. Not sure what's going on with you or how you are, so I figured I would take the initiative and make contact. You know…it's always been that way. I have always been the one trying to keep the lines of communication open. It's always been me, looking for you. How many times have I come down to the east side, UBC, or wherever you were, to take you out someplace nice, then buy you drinks and ? I was on my way to Africa when I heard you were trying to kill yourself, (and no one wanted anything to do with you) so I got off the plane in Edmonton and flew back for 2 weeks. (I got you to court, dealt with your car, got your shit moved, talked Al into storing it, and I hauled you into Vancouver to the recovery house, left money for you, etc etc. with the last minute cancelation, and the rebook, and another rounder from Edmonton....that alone cost me an extra $2300) I stayed at your place for a couple days when I was getting ready to move back to...

sure has put up with a lot of shit. She had to deal with the malaria thing and we weren't even a couple yet. Then she had to deal with the farm in Ladner, then Alan, then Carrie, and more of Carrie  then there was the license, then getting injured working at Goldcorp in Ontario, then working for Pro Mod, then the move, She has been trying really hard to get to know me, if that's possible. She has got a lot farther than anyone previous. Now, in our 7th year, she is starting to lose it. I don't know if she is going to make it after all. We have come this far, and are in the final stages of changing the things that could not be changed, previously...I just don't know if she can take it. She is a perfectionist, and I....am not. She wants things scheduled, and I believe that schedules are for trains and buses. Life has a way of fucking up your schedule, so you gotta stay flexible. She, wants me to work between 8, and 5. My jobs, are HD Mechanic, and hauling equipment. ...