Well......I will just keep my previous page as an archive.
The "letters to the new girlfriend" post is especially pertinent. At the time, I was a little shocked, until I read it a couple times. Then it just made me sad, that this is how she remembered things, and that nothing good was mentioned or remembered. It was just her version, and a lot of bs, made up to fit the criteria she is trying to major in.
There was just so much bullshit and lies, that I couldn't begin to address any of it. Why anyhow? No use trying to explain things that never happened, or things that didn't happen a certain way, so I just ignored it. And now 5 years later, time has been the ultimate proof of what was real, and what was not true....I didn't have to do a thing.
I am hard to live with. No lie there. I brought a lot of baggage to this relationship. I AM unlike anyone Marisa has ever known, and my inability to express myself or defend myself makes things even MORE difficult. But we are still here, working it through. And yes, sometimes it does look like there is a motive for what I do, but time shows I am not angry, spiteful, self centred, grandiose, or malicious. Time has shown that I don't hatch evil plots, lay complex traps, or make long term projections for other people's demise. I have trouble keeping MY day in order, and taking care of MY responsibilities....I don't have time or mental energy to try and manipulate people.
The "letters to the new girlfriend" post is especially pertinent. At the time, I was a little shocked, until I read it a couple times. Then it just made me sad, that this is how she remembered things, and that nothing good was mentioned or remembered. It was just her version, and a lot of bs, made up to fit the criteria she is trying to major in.
There was just so much bullshit and lies, that I couldn't begin to address any of it. Why anyhow? No use trying to explain things that never happened, or things that didn't happen a certain way, so I just ignored it. And now 5 years later, time has been the ultimate proof of what was real, and what was not true....I didn't have to do a thing.
I am hard to live with. No lie there. I brought a lot of baggage to this relationship. I AM unlike anyone Marisa has ever known, and my inability to express myself or defend myself makes things even MORE difficult. But we are still here, working it through. And yes, sometimes it does look like there is a motive for what I do, but time shows I am not angry, spiteful, self centred, grandiose, or malicious. Time has shown that I don't hatch evil plots, lay complex traps, or make long term projections for other people's demise. I have trouble keeping MY day in order, and taking care of MY responsibilities....I don't have time or mental energy to try and manipulate people.
I am not a controlling type person, not a bully, not an alcoholic, I am into some pretty heavy narcotics, but at an almost undetectable amount. Even Dr. M said after our trial of various prescriptions, that I was likely better off doing it the way I was< taking into consideration the cost, financially, physically, relationship wise, overall health, etc. the cost was about $600 every 6 months so $100 a week), relationship wise....well..I am pretty sure the poison I brought into the relationship by using drugs will eventually be the end of us. She just can't get a handle on it, and I feel lot of unhappiness and resentment from her now.
Back to the Carrie thing
I never wished her harm, I tried everything I could to help her be self sufficient when we did part ways, I was still helping any way I could, long after Marisa and I were an item. I just couldn't see the real motives behind Carries actions. I did figure out her friendship with Tina right away, (Tina did not) and it worked out like she planned. I have had one text since they became friends and it was anWTF text. In the end, it turned out to be a good thing, because the way they are all acting, it isn’t something I should have to put up with.
All in all, I am finally myself. I pretty well do what I want, when I want. Money is good, just enough work, at 5 times the rate of Vancouver, and No matter what it is I'm doing, I am grateful.
PS. Now it's been 7 years. We don't think of her at all, and that's it.
Things are pretty tough between Marisa and I, but we aren't splitting up, we are both still trying to figure it out. I got a new Dr who understands ADHD, and she is trying to help me. One of the guys I ride with is a denturist, and I am getting all new teeth. I accepted a call in mechanics position, plus I’m still trucking, and wrenching, so I think we can do this.
Jump ahead to Sept 1st, 2018. Just about back to normal. I fell off the mort trailer on may 9th and broke 7 ribs. It’s been a long and trying time, but we are yet about through it. Business for me as been plentiful
Back to the Carrie thing
I never wished her harm, I tried everything I could to help her be self sufficient when we did part ways, I was still helping any way I could, long after Marisa and I were an item. I just couldn't see the real motives behind Carries actions. I did figure out her friendship with Tina right away, (Tina did not) and it worked out like she planned. I have had one text since they became friends and it was anWTF text. In the end, it turned out to be a good thing, because the way they are all acting, it isn’t something I should have to put up with.
All in all, I am finally myself. I pretty well do what I want, when I want. Money is good, just enough work, at 5 times the rate of Vancouver, and No matter what it is I'm doing, I am grateful.
PS. Now it's been 7 years. We don't think of her at all, and that's it.
Things are pretty tough between Marisa and I, but we aren't splitting up, we are both still trying to figure it out. I got a new Dr who understands ADHD, and she is trying to help me. One of the guys I ride with is a denturist, and I am getting all new teeth. I accepted a call in mechanics position, plus I’m still trucking, and wrenching, so I think we can do this.
Jump ahead to Sept 1st, 2018. Just about back to normal. I fell off the mort trailer on may 9th and broke 7 ribs. It’s been a long and trying time, but we are yet about through it. Business for me as been plentiful
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